When we think of bullying, we often picture schoolyards and playgrounds filled with children teasing or excluding each other. But bullying doesn’t always end when childhood does. Adult bullying is a real and pervasive issue that can occur in the workplace, social settings, online, or even within families. It’s often more subtle than the bullying seen in younger years, but it can be just as harmful—and sometimes even more insidious.
Bullying in adulthood can leave emotional scars, undermine confidence, and create toxic environments. Whether it comes in the form of overt harassment, covert manipulation, or social exclusion, adult bullying is an issue that deserves attention. In this blog post, we’ll explore the many faces of adult bullying, how to recognize it, and most importantly, what to do if you’re experiencing or witnessing it.
What Is Adult Bullying?
Adult bullying refers to intentional and repeated acts of intimidation, humiliation, or exclusion aimed at another person to exert power or control over them. Unlike childhood bullying, adult bullying often manifests in more sophisticated, covert forms. It’s not always about physical confrontation or name-calling, but rather about subtle ways of undermining or controlling others.
Adult bullying can occur in a variety of contexts, including:
The workplace: Where bosses or colleagues may use their position to belittle, intimidate, or harass others.
Social circles: Where individuals may manipulate relationships, exclude others, or engage in gossip to hurt someone.
Online: Where cyberbullying has become increasingly common, with people using social media and messaging platforms to harass or shame others.
Family relationships: Where dynamics of control, manipulation, or emotional abuse may be present between adults.
Adult bullying isn’t limited to any specific demographic or social group. It can happen to anyone—regardless of gender, background, or profession.
Forms of Adult Bullying
Just like with childhood bullying, adult bullying can take on different forms. Some are more blatant and easier to recognize, while others may be subtle and harder to identify. Here are the most common types of adult bullying:
1. Verbal Bullying
Verbal bullying in adulthood often includes demeaning language, insults, or belittling comments. It can happen in front of others or in private. This type of bullying aims to undermine the victim’s self-esteem and make them feel small or incompetent. Verbal bullying might include:
Name-calling or offensive remarks
Insults disguised as jokes
Public humiliation or shaming
Demeaning comments about someone’s appearance, work, or lifestyle
2. Emotional and Psychological Bullying
Emotional bullying is often harder to detect because it doesn’t leave visible marks, but the psychological scars can run deep. This type of bullying involves manipulative behaviors designed to control, isolate, or erode the victim’s mental well-being. Common tactics include:
Gaslighting: Making someone doubt their own reality or memory.
Silent treatment: Ignoring or excluding someone to make them feel invisible.
Passive-aggressive behavior: Subtle put-downs, sarcasm, or backhanded compliments.
Withholding information or resources needed for success.
3. Cyberbullying
With the rise of social media and online communication, bullying has moved into the digital space. Cyberbullying among adults can take many forms, including:
Harassing or threatening messages.
Spreading rumors or lies online.
Publicly shaming or humiliating someone through posts or comments.
Creating fake profiles to harass or stalk someone online.
Unlike traditional forms of bullying, cyberbullying can happen 24/7, and the anonymity of the internet can make it even more vicious.
4. Physical Bullying
While less common than verbal or emotional bullying among adults, physical bullying can still occur. This might involve actual physical violence, but it can also include subtle acts of intimidation such as standing too close, blocking someone’s path, or using one’s physical presence to make someone feel unsafe.
5. Relational or Social Bullying
Relational bullying focuses on damaging someone’s social relationships or reputation. This can include:
Excluding someone from group activities.
Spreading rumors or gossip to isolate the person.
Sabotaging someone’s friendships or professional relationships.
Deliberately leaving someone out to hurt their sense of belonging.
Why Does Adult Bullying Happen?
Bullying in adulthood, much like in childhood, is often about power and control. Adult bullies may feel insecure, envious, or threatened by the person they’re targeting. In some cases, they bully others as a way to elevate themselves, assert dominance, or protect their own fragile self-esteem.
There are various reasons why someone might engage in adult bullying:
Insecurity: Bullies often target those they perceive as a threat to their own status or competence.
Unresolved past issues: Adults who were bullies in their younger years may carry those same behaviors into adulthood.
Toxic work environments: Power imbalances, competition, and stressful environments can create a breeding ground for workplace bullying.
Cultural or social factors: Certain cultures or environments may tolerate or even encourage aggressive or domineering behavior as a way to get ahead.
Jealousy: Bullying can be driven by jealousy or resentment toward someone’s success, popularity, or happiness.
Regardless of the reasons, bullying is always a reflection of the bully’s issues, not the victim’s worth.
The Impact of Adult Bullying
The effects of adult bullying can be devastating. It doesn’t just hurt emotionally; it can have long-lasting psychological, physical, and even career-related consequences. Some of the impacts include:
Low self-esteem: Repeated belittling and exclusion can erode a person’s self-confidence.
Stress and anxiety: The constant fear of being humiliated or mistreated can lead to chronic stress and anxiety.
Depression: Victims of bullying may experience sadness, hopelessness, and depression.
Physical health problems: Stress from bullying can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, sleep problems, and a weakened immune system.
Career setbacks: In workplace bullying, a person’s career can be impacted by being unfairly excluded from opportunities, isolated from coworkers, or deliberately undermined.
What to Do if You’re Experiencing Adult Bullying
If you’re being bullied as an adult, it’s important to know that you don’t have to tolerate it, and there are steps you can take to protect yourself:
1. Acknowledge the Bullying
The first step is to recognize the behavior for what it is: bullying. Many people, especially in workplace settings, may dismiss bullying as “just part of the culture” or downplay it to avoid confrontation. However, acknowledging the problem is crucial to addressing it.
2. Document the Bullying
If the bullying occurs in the workplace or online, keep a record of every incident. Write down dates, times, and details of what happened. If possible, save emails, messages, or other evidence. This documentation can be vital if you decide to take the issue to HR or seek legal advice.
3. Set Boundaries
Standing up to bullies can be difficult, but setting clear boundaries is essential. Calmly and assertively let the person know that their behavior is unacceptable. In some cases, bullies back down when they realize their behavior won’t be tolerated.
4. Seek Support
You don’t have to deal with bullying alone. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about what’s happening. In the workplace, report the bullying to HR or your manager, and in severe cases, consider seeking legal advice.
5. Prioritize Self-Care
Dealing with a bully can be emotionally exhausting, so make sure to prioritize your well-being. Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as exercise, mindfulness, or spending time with supportive friends and family. Protect your mental health by seeking therapy if needed.
How to Help Someone Who’s Being Bullied
If you see someone being bullied, whether at work, online, or in social situations, don’t stand by. Here’s how you can help:
Be an ally: Stand up for the person being bullied, whether it’s by calling out the behavior or offering support behind the scenes.
Report the bullying: If you witness bullying in the workplace or online, report it to the appropriate authorities or platform.
Offer emotional support: Let the person know they’re not alone. Sometimes, just having someone listen and validate their feelings can make a big difference.
Recognizing and Addressing Adult Bullying
Bullying isn’t just something that happens in childhood; it can follow us into adulthood, taking on new, often subtler forms. Whether it’s happening in the workplace, online, or in social settings, adult bullying can have serious emotional and psychological impacts. Recognizing the signs of adult bullying, taking steps to protect yourself, and offering support to others who are being bullied are all crucial in creating a safer, more respectful environment for everyone.
No one deserves to be bullied, and it’s important to remember that there’s help available. Whether you’re experiencing bullying or witnessing it, speaking out can make a difference.
Comments